My life changed forever when I met my future spouse, John Callahan, in September 5, 1985. We moved in together in September 21,1986, and had our commitment ceremony on January 18, 1987.
We met at The Anti Club, a punk/new wave dive across from LA City College. on Melrose Avenue. It was Thursday, the weekly poetry/acoustic night. I went to hear my friend, Robin Podolsky, read her poetry.
John was working the door. I gave him my money and thought, “What a hot guy; too bad he’s probably straight”. He was swarthy, heavyset, ugly/handsome in an Ernest Borgnine/James Gandalfini kind of way. I was surprised, later on, after Robin read, to see her talking to this hot stranger like they were old, best, friends. Once alone, I asked Robin who he was. “Him? He’s John Callahan; he used to be in “Age of Consent”. Do you want me to introduce you?”
(For those who don’t know, “Age of Consent” was one of the first rap bands on the West Coast, and the first openly gay rap band ever, active between 1981 and 1884. Their music can be heard and purchased at www.ageofconsentrap.com . I had heard them on KPFK’s Lesbian/Gay day in 1983. The trio’s (John Callahan, David Hughes and Thea Other) raps were political, humorous; two white gay guys and a white straight chick making absolutely no attempt whatsoever to sound soulful or black. I was an immediate fan.)“No," I told Robin, "I can take care of that myself.” I approached him later, and struck up a conversation under the pretext of asking his advice about performing publicly. (I sing and play the guitar, and have done open mike on occasion.) I let him go on at length before I told him the real reason I was talking to him was that I thought he was really hot, and I’d like to get with him. He somewhat taken aback, but said he wasn’t opposed to the idea. He warned me that I needed to decide whether I wanted a quick lay or a possible relationship. If I chose the former, I was unlikely to get the latter. I chose the latter, and the rest is history.